Hundreds And Hundreds Of Pentagon Employees Purchased Dirty Child Pictures And Haven't Been Penalized

You have got to watch the CNN report posted below.  CNN is reporting that the U.S. Department of Defense is acknowledging that its investigators failed to check thoroughly to see whether or not its employees were on a list of suspected purchasers of dirty child pictures.  In fact, it has now come out that there could be thousands of individuals still working for the Pentagon that have purchased these materials and that government investigators have been sitting on this information for years....



How sick is our country becoming?  The truth is that it is becoming more difficult than ever to maintain a Christian marriage and raise a Christian family in a society that is absolutely soaking with sin.

Sadly, we all probably underestimate the amount of sin that is going on out there today.  Moral depravity is absolutely rampant in our communities today, and it is getting worse every single year.

But the Scriptures warned us that this would happen in the last days.  In 2 Timothy chapter 3, it tells us the following....


This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.  For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Doesn't that sound just like today?

Unfortunately, wickedness is only going to increase even more until Yahshua (Jesus) returns to this earth.

So buckle up because it is going to be a bumpy ride.

For much more on the last days, we encourage you to check out the following books....

*Apollyon Rising 2012: The Lost Symbol Found and the Final Mystery of the Great Seal Revealed

*The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Last Days

In addition, if you enjoy this blog, you may find some of our other websites about the last days very interesting....

-Last Days

-Shofar

-The Antichrist

-The Debt

-The End Of The World

The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks

The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks by Beth Strong, MA, LPC

Hope springs eternal, and there’s nowhere that’s more true than a couple taking the leap of faith into a second marriage. To all those who dare to hope that their second marriage (or third, or fourth) will be better than the last, I say congratulations and good luck! It takes a lot of courage to open your heart to try again! But also, take heed: you’ll have a much better chance of success if you follow some very important guidelines, particularly if either of you have children.



Let’s face it: relationships can be a challenge. Any long term relationship between two people moves through a set of predictable and important stages, each stage bringing something rich and healing to the partners, and each stage filled with snags and potholes along the way, any one of which can capsize a relationship. In a first marriage, these developmental stages usually start out in the open – that is, without the complications of children. For instance, most couples usually go through an initial period of intense closeness and bonding, when friends complain that they don’t see you any more, and nothing seems more important or exciting than spending time with your new beloved. This is a wonderful and exciting time, and actually serves to build a strong foundation for a long term relationship. We in the field of couples counseling hope to see that a couple has been able to spend as much as two or three years in this honeymoon period. It’s kind of like putting down a very big deposit on a new home: you are investing a lot of equity in the relationship, so that when things get tough – and they will get tough – you both have a rich and full memory bank of good times, being in love, and knowing that the relationship is important to you both, to draw from. These rich memories give us the fortitude and determination to put effort into the relationship when it’s most needed.



Couples who already have children from a former relationship before they meet each other don’t have the luxury of years of time where it is “just us.” They hit the ground running, and moving in together, a challenging time for many couples, can feel like they’ve just been hired to run a company when they feel like they’re still in high school.

The Pitfalls – And What to Do About Them



Unrealistic Expectations: Parents Hope, Children Fear



If you have been in a marriage (throughout this article, the reference to marriage will always include any form of long-term committed relationship, particularly if you have lived together, including same-sex marriages) that ended, whether by divorce or the death of a spouse, you probably know how hard it is to overcome the dread of thinking you could go through it again. Most people I counsel who are going through a divorce say they can’t even imagine dating, and have terrible fears about daring to trust and become vulnerable to another person again.



But, time does heal, and remarriages are evidence of the hope that marks us as human beings. A funny thing happens when we fall in love: we lose some of our take on reality. Not only are we starry-eyed for our new love, we are starry-eyed about a future with our new love. Don’t feel bad – this is normal. But it sure helps to know what the expectations are, so we don’t feel so horrible – like we’ve failed yet again – when things don’t pan out the way we expect them to.



Great Expectations, Just Not Realistic



Here are just some of the expectations we as parents unwittingly bring to a second marriage:



- love will conquer all

- your children will love your new spouse, or even like them, instantly

- your partner’s children will appreciate all the things you do for them as a step-parent, and your partner will appreciate all your help in raising them

- that this marriage will be much better than the last one that failed

- for a better life

- that everyone will get along

- that your new spouse will make parenting easier – some even expect the new spouse to be the new nanny – the “Mary Poppins Myth”

- that the new marriage will automatically create the structure of the nuclear family, that you will be in a “real family” after all

- that your partner’s ex, and the ex’s family, will just go away. “I will have my new husband/wife all to myself.”

- that you as new spouse / step-parent will have an equal vote in the matters of the family



Of these expectations, I find the most common mistake that new step-parents make is in expecting these “new” kids to automatically love them. For the most part, it just doesn’t happen that way. The greatest gift you can give to your new blended family is to give the children plenty of time – even a year or two – to figure out that you’re safe, worthwhile, and then, maybe even likeable. But of course, that will only happen if it’s true.



Children Have Hopes Too, But Also Have More Fears



Children in blended families have expectations too, although they tend to be more realistic about not being in love with your new partner as much or as quickly as you are. But they have a lot to adjust to, much more than most parents realize.



- children hope to be happier in a stable family, in both emotional and tangible ways: more fun at family celebrations than when mom or dad was single. Less stress for mom or dad because they have found someone to share their difficulties with. And they hope to benefit from there being more money, more presents on their birthdays and holidays, maybe bigger TV’s in the living room. Kids are kids.



- they assume their biological parent will be just as doting on them as they were when they were single, but fear they will lose their parent to the new spouse



- they fear they will lose attention from mom or dad, who now has to tend to step-siblings and a more complicated family life. These fears come from the “Wicked Step-Mother Myth.” No one sees themselves as the wicked stepmother, but most of us see ourselves as Cinderella.



- they fear the new step-parent will disapprove of them simply for existing, and be a harsh disciplinarian. Even if the step-parent is not, the child may perceive him or her to be overly harsh, overly disapproving, since there isn’t as much of a counterpoint in the deep abiding love that comes with being a biological parent.



- they fear having to share their new lives with the unknown step-siblings: have to share a room, time with mom, mom’s loyalties, available money for college tuition or special trips, even inheritances.



- they fear losing contact with the non-custodial parent, especially if they allow themselves to get close to their new step-parent. They are very afraid of hurting the non-residential parent’s feelings. They may also fear having to live in two homes, and worry a lot about the parent they aren’t with when they are gone.



- children fear getting close to their new step-parent only to find that mom or dad will break up with them, too, initiating yet another devastating loss and feelings of abandonment. Kids desperately need to know they can attach to a parental figure and be safe from abandonment or neglect. Under their wariness of the new step-parent, there is often a longing to trust.



- children often hold on to the hope and even expectation that Mom and Dad will someday reunite. This is true even after one or both parents have remarried – young children can imagine that all of you – Mom, Dad, and Step-Parent, will live in one house happily ever after. Even older children, and even adult children, often long for the reunification of their biological parents.



Dealing With Expectations, Hopes and Fears – the Best Prevention



There’s no question hope is a good thing. It’s what keeps us going and motivates us to create better lives. The only trouble is when our hopes are misguided, unrealistic, and unexpressed. Too often they turn into expectations and just set us up for disappointment. After one failed marriage, disappointment too often makes a person feel they not only failed again, but that they are a failure. But such a tragic loss can be prevented by knowing what to expect.



It’s always smart to sit down with your partner and discuss as many of your expectations and assumptions as possible about family life (feel free to borrow from the list above.) It’s also a good question to ask of yourself and each other when problems do arise: what are the expectations I’ve brought to the situation? Often we expect too much, or we expect our partner to know what our own expectations are, to read our minds. They don’t, and they can’t. Even if they do know our hopes, even our assumptions, that doesn’t mean they can fulfill them, or that it’s even their job to make us happy. Keep in mind that building a strong and happy blended family is a very difficult task at best, and perhaps try to put your hopes on an extended time line. Know that each of these developments might be possible, but they will most undoubtedly take longer than you’d like. That they don’t just happen, but need our skills and patience to bring them about.



It’s also important to spend time alone with your biological children, and help them talk about their hopes and fears. If you can’t get yourself out of the way (i.e. you hope so desperately that they will love your spouse that you can’t stand it that they don’t yet like her or him) then support your child in having someone else to talk with – a counselor or another adult that they trust. It’s best if they can talk with you and tell you their fears, but remember they might be as afraid of telling you as they are of losing you. Children often resolve their issues easily once they know someone is listening, and this can prevent a lot of difficult behavior along the way.





Resentment and Jealousy – The Insider / Outsider Syndrome



No one wants to believe they enter into a new marriage only to feel excluded once the children become a part of the relationship. Yet this is one of the most predictable stages that occurs in blended families. The task of the new couple is to learn to create a sense of togetherness – to build on activities that bring teamwork and a sense of accomplishment for the team, for the two adults. While you have a ready-made set of challenges by virtue of the very existence of the children one or both of you brought to the marriage, this is a very difficult challenge to meet, especially as the first challenge in the marriage, because you have the task not just for you as a couple but for you as an extended family. When it doesn’t happen, instead of feeling like a happy, well-unified family, almost everyone feels like an outsider.



The step-parent feels like an outsider because they are just joining a team (biological parent and her or his kids) that has been going strong for years. There are hundreds of “inside jokes,” secret non-verbal communication that has developed naturally between parent and child, between siblings, and lots of subtle references made about people who are known only to the biological family. The step-parent is also not yet seen as an authority figure, a true parental disciplinarian, and is often undermined by the biological parent. This makes the step-parent feel like there is no place for them, and they often retreat with the attitude of Why bother?



The child or children often feel like outsiders of the new love affair between the biological parent and the new step-parent. If a child has become the subject of shared custody with both biological parents, and spend roughly equal time with both biological parents, they often don’t have a primary home. After a week at Dad’s, coming back to Mom and Step-Dad can make the child feel like he or she is “just visiting.” There’s a certain hidden luxury for couples whose children spend time with the divorced parent in that they get regular time off from parenting, and can enjoy a semblance of “married without children” time together. They can get close again, and recharge their batteries. But when the children come back, it can feel like they are intruding on the romantic time of the new couple. There are changes in the household they haven’t been a part of, even if it’s as simple as a housecleaning. And while the parents are adjusting to the children being back, sensitive kids will pick up that they have just interrupted something, as if you are smoothing out your clothes from an intimate moment.



If both partners have children and one set of kids lives with another parent and “visits” the other parent who is now in a new marriage, the “visiting children” feel like outsiders to the new nuclear family. As a child I visited my Dad in Germany, where he lived for 19 years with his second wife and two children from their marriage. I hardly knew my dad, let alone his second wife and my half-brother and half-sister. While they were very welcoming and loving, and accepted me readily into their “tribe,” there was no question who the new person was. I felt like a stranger in my dad’s home. After my mother remarried, her second husband’s two children, who lived with their mother, would visit occasionally, until they were old enough to choose on their own not to come anymore. They felt so unwelcomed by my mother, and even their father (my step-father) that it was painful to be with us. My step-brother told me much later that he thought we – my mother and sisters, were his father’s “real family,” while he and his sister, my step-father’s “real kids,” were the result of a big mistake. I had had exactly the same feeling about my relationship with my father and his second family. Another example is when a step-parent has bonded so well with his new family that the new set of children, whether stepchildren or biological children with the new spouse, trump the children from the former marriage. This plays out at important family functions, where the biological children play no part – even at the parent’s funeral.



The only one who doesn’t feel like the outsider in this family structure is the biological parent. Far from having the “easy role,” they must play the mediator, and often feel terribly torn between children and spouse. Most of the responsibility of making the new family structure work seems to fall on their shoulders. Often it’s easier for the biological parent to maintain the single-parent role with their kids; as if the parent just happens to have a live-in boyfriend / girlfriend, even once they are married. The continuing challenge of keeping each side of the equation – kids and spouse – happy is like walking a tightrope. Some will come to the task, exhausting as it is, and keep trying to cultivate a relationship between spouse and children. Some will give up when it seems like the two sides will never meet. Some biological parents, often the father, will actually pull away from one side or the other – his kids or his wife – because trying to integrate them is too hard. This is sad because it can lead to defeat of the marriage, and no one wins.



The tug of war is even more compounded when one or both ex-spouses are co-parenting their children. That ex-spouse usually comes with his or her family, with whom the biological parent must at least cooperate for the sake of the children. If both partners of the new marriage have children and an ex-spouse who co-parents, this new marriage must balance relationships and in-laws in multiple directions!



From Lonely Outsider to “Doh-Si-Doh”: Finding the Rhythm of the Dance



There’s no way that everybody will feel central to the family all the time. The task is to make it normal for everyone to be in a dance with each other, and to make the dance fun. Another essential task of a marriage is for the couple to become comfortable with each other’s separateness, or individuation – following the call of their own life development. This can be a stumbling block for many couples who resist the shift away from an early symbiotic closeness where everything they do is together. However, making this shift is essential for a successful marriage. It will also help tremendously in countering insecurities when jealousies between children and spouses arise. In essence, it’s about finding the balance where everyone needs the biological parent – the hub of the family – just a little bit less, and hopefully begin to interact with each other – step-parent and step-children, step-siblings with each other – more and more.



Step-parents can be creative about ways to connect with their new spouse’s kids. It’s a good idea for parents to discuss how the step-parent can be more involved, from attending parent/teacher conferences at school to teaching a child a skill the step-parent can do, attending basketball games together, or just taking the time to listen to the child’s telling of their day. I’ve found that when kids don’t open up right away, sometimes just hanging out in the same room, without the TV on, gives rise to conversation. And conversation gives rise to, well, finding out things about your kids. By the way, the challenge of spending non-TV time together with kids is not limited to blended families – everybody struggles with this. The first thing to do is turn off the TV, then look around for a fun way to get out of the house – together.



Balance of Power, Not Power Struggle



Not only is there a challenge in balancing alliances and keeping everyone happy. There’s often a tug of war for power.



Often in a divorce suit one parent is hoping to have more control over their children’s lives than the other parent. However, more and more often, both parents share joint custody, which means both parents have to communicate in decision-making for their kids. This is troublesome enough, but it can also lead to confusion for the new step-parent: just how involved should the new step-parent be?



A new step-parent has a difficult role to fill: is he or she a parent, a friend, a baby-sitter, or a mere adult who happens to share living space? The unfortunate side-effect to not knowing the answer to this question is that the child or children often end up with too much power. Instead of the parents acting as a team, children learn they can pit one parent against the other. They do this in biological nuclear families, but they do it even more in blended families. Children can manipulate their biological parent to feel guilty (it’s an easy place to go – parents usually feel guilty already for a divorce) for not giving them what they want. A biological parent feels uneasy about the new step-parent’s style of giving discipline, so they step in to “save” the child. The new step-parent loses their power, and the child learns he or she can get away with just about anything.



Sometimes a new step-parent will feel they have to make up for a deficit in a former spouse’s shortcomings as a parent, and “straighten the kids up.” This usually meets with defeat, and resentment on all ends. Maybe the “corrective” parenting style of a step-parent can be effective in time, but only after an initial relationship-building period has occurred, establishing a strong sense of respect and acceptance on both sides. This can and usually does take years. Until then, the step-parent is best situated to remain a firm and friendly authority figure who supports the biological parent’s role.



It is important that neither the biological parent nor the step-parent give up their role as the responsible adult in the house. In time the children will find comfort rather than resentment in the structure that you uphold. Keep in mind an interesting piece of research about children and their need for boundaries: Researchers observed children playing in a back yard. In the first case the yard was open to the neighborhood, no fence or closure. The children played together huddled close to each other and close to the house. In the next case the children played in the same size yard, this time with a secure fence around it. The children enjoyed the full length of the yard, now confident they were safe with a known boundary in place. Lesson: children need structure, boundaries, and the firm and aware presence of a competent adult in their midst. While they might outwardly bristle at parental discipline, underneath they feel relieved. They are not adults, and no matter what they might say, they really do know they want and need the adults to be in charge.



Trouble Signs – What to Watch Out For



Every family has its ups and downs, and some families have extra challenges with “high-need” children, or even “high-need” parents. A certain amount of strife is to be expected, and should not cause alarm.



However, some things are sure signs a relationship is in trouble. Here is a list that has been cultivated by many couples therapy specialists with decades of experience. Take a look, and if any of these signs has been occurring for more than a few weeks, it’s time to get some help. Remember, we didn’t come into this world knowing how to build rockets without lots of training. Why should we expect that managing the foibles of a blended family should be an easier?



1. The couple has stopped talking with each other about family issues, and even avoid each other’s company. When they do talk, it is laced with sarcasm, a deadly form of indirect anger. This is a big red flag, because it represents a breakdown in willingness to work as a team, and suggests hopelessness has set in. Many people find dealing with conflict to be difficult, which it is, until we’ve learned some effective conflict-resolution skills. Take heart: these skills work, and many therapists can help you learn them with your spouse. It’s actually easier than you think, and tremendously rewarding to actually resolve problems.



2. The household has become a democracy, in that the children are too involved in making decisions. It’s the parents’ role to make the decisions for the children, who feel burdened by too much responsibility. It has been a trend in the last generation or two to give children more of a voice in family matters, in reaction to a much more repressive parenting style in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. I think this is a good change – kids deserve to be listened to, and probably need to be heard even more. But being listened to is a separate process from kids making decisions, which must remain firmly in the hands of the adults. When adults have given too much responsibility to their children, it suggests the parents have trouble being adults themselves.



3. Some parents get into a competition about their kids, and which kids will benefit from the family resources. It becomes “my kids vs. your kids.” Once parents become polarized like this, nobody wins and everyone feels uneasy. Again, parents will benefit by talking it out with each other and developing a policy that everyone knows and agrees to. This often shows up more in older families, where couples have adult children who are expecting family benefits, like college tuition, wedding expenses, help with a down payment on a house, or even inheritances. Often, couples have a hard time getting past their fears of talking openly about what they feel comfortable with. It’s better, however, to talk it through than to wait to see how it plays out.



4. Parents are not using relationship skills to problem-solve family issues. Instead, one or the other parent unilaterally takes over parenting, disregarding the other parent’s contribution. Many step-parents have not been parents before the marriage, and don’t feel confident in their skills. The easiest thing is for the biological parent to assume full control. This might be appropriate in the beginning, but over time it is important to bring in the parental role of the step-parent, and when there are situations that he or she doesn’t know how to handle, that’s the time to ask for help from the biological parent. It’s okay to be a learner. There’s no one way to be the perfect parent, or there wouldn’t be radical parenting style shifts from one generation to the next. We are all experimenting. The biological parent has been practicing since their children’s birth. Many step-parents will enroll in a parenting class, such as Love and Logic, and many others. And all of us will regress to our own parents’ style (no matter how much we hated it growing up) when we are stressed. It takes a lot to be a good parent, so don’t beat yourself up, but do use resources.



5. The step-parent resents the biological parent’s kids coming to visit. This usually comes up after the routine has settled in and the step-parent finds that the biological children are not as accepting of the new spouse as they had hoped, or the kids are trouble-makers. “They just won’t warm up to me,” I often hear. This always suggests there is an underlying problem, where someone, often the children and the spouse, feel like outsiders. There is usually some difficult history here that needs to be dealt with – the “visiting” children didn’t get properly taken care of during a nasty divorce, or they resent their parent for moving on from the original family, or perhaps the step-parent is stuck in their expectation that their new life wouldn’t be “intruded upon” by the “leftovers” of a former marriage. These are tough images, but they do come up for people. When they do, it’s a strong indicator they would benefit from therapy. Most all of us come from imperfect families, and drag along our childhood wounds to our adult lives. There’s no shame in that, but hopefully we’ll be able to work on these issues without hurting the people we love. Therapy is a good way to do that.



6. The new step-parent feels like the new nanny. This is what I call the “Mary Poppins Myth,” that some people hope their new partner will fill the role of parent while the biological parent continues their life at work or is otherwise removed from the daily tasks of family life. Some couples agree to this arrangement, but forget to take into account that the children will be less eager to accept the new full time parent. Some partners don’t even realize they’ve put such a burden on their new spouse, but think of it as fulfilling a family tradition: “this is just how it’s done.” Whether it’s your tradition or not, you are still in a marriage that will require much more compromise and, in our culture, more equal footing. Otherwise, it is a setup for resentment to set in.



7. The children have stopped talking to the step-parent. In the first year or two, children are likely to be more ambivalent about getting close to the step-parent. But if they have moved closer and then have pulled back, there’s trouble. It’s important to investigate it sooner than later. Kids are generally less able to talk about problems than adults are, and can be even more reluctant to say something negative about a step-parent. Yet, if they feel hurt by a step-parent, and find that their biological parent is “siding with” the step-parent, the child feels more and more excluded, unimportant, and unwanted. Who wouldn’t feel angry? When this situation is allowed to ferment, long-term estrangement can develop, and that can take years to resolve. I have seen this over and over again, and the sad thing about it is that it usually starts with something very simple and mundane. The problem is that the small issues start to translate as a larger pattern or attitude – a chronic dynamic that everyone comes to expect. Again, this can happen in original (non-divorced) families as easily as in blended families, but it can be so destructive that it bears discussing here. When it gets to the point that no one can talk about it without a big blow-up, you do have another choice other than giving up: see a couples counselor. It’s better to start with couples counseling first because very often the underlying problems reside with the couple. If necessary, a session or two can include a child, to help everyone share their story and be heard. It’s always amazing to me how much is discovered by partners when they talk about things in therapy. Even after living together for years, there’s so much they don’t know about each other, often because they don’t know what questions to ask, and they often have a hard time hearing the answers. Couples therapists are skilled at helping everyone truly be heard. Once you know how the other person feels underneath the surface issue, much more resolution is possible.



Overwhelming Doesn’t Mean Impossible – Therapy Can Help!



If taking on a blended family seems overwhelming, take heart: it is. But it can also bring tremendous joy when those hard won moments finally happen, and your spouse’s child voluntarily offers a kind word, or even a small hand. When your step-daughter asks you to walk her down the aisle. When your stepson surprises you years later with a simple thank you for being a part of his life.



So many options and directions for growth open up when a couple comes to therapy. Some people think therapy is “just for nuts,” that needing therapy is a clear sign of weakness or that if you need it, something is wrong with you. That might have been true decades ago, but both therapy and the people who use it have changed a lot in the last several years. Most of the people I see are very ordinary people who are needing a little guidance in an area of their lives, or they might feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the life task set before them. Couples work is usually short term, and can help a family shift quickly to a much more satisfying way of life. Unfortunately, too many couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce before getting help, and by then it is usually too late. Some therapists advocate treating marriage like we take care of our cars: we bring them in for tune-ups. I personally have found NOTHING more challenging than being in a marriage and raising a child, and believe the help gained through therapy is the best resource there is.



Above all, when a blended family succeeds, it gives everyone the experience that marriage can work, family can be a good thing, and that we are lucky to come from family who loves us. I am hearing this more and more in my practice as grown children from blended families are able to look back with appreciation for their parents’ struggles and accomplishments. I’m also seeing more adult children whose parents, disengaged from them at some point because of divorce, have reunited and have learned to become friends. So often, these healed relationships begin with one simple gesture: reaching out.



Beth Strong, MA, LPC

April 2008





Thanks to the following people for their resources, knowledge, and wisdom, and their generosity in sharing it.



Dr. James Bray, author of Step Families: Love, Marriage, and Parenting in the First Decade, Broadway Books, 1998.



Ellyn Bader of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA.



The following therapists who contributed to my understanding of issues in blended families: Roxanne Barksdale, LCSW, Amy McNulty, Ph.D., Jean Sutton, LPC, Jean Pollock, LCSW, Janet Bychek, LCSW, and Don Wilde, Ph.D.





Therapist Contact Info:



Beth Strong, MA, LPC

303-322-4224


Beth Strong, MA, LPC
www.bethstrong.com
303-322-4224

For more articles like this one, go to http://www.therapylinx.com/


Article Source: The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks

The Emotional Farewell Tribute Song And Video That Sarah Phillips Created For Her Dying Mother Debbie Phillips

If you want to watch something that will really touch you, just watch the video below.  It is of a song and tribute video that Sarah Phillips created for her dying mother Debbie Phillips.  Sarah recorded this song into her mobile phone in her bedroom on the 10th February 2010, the evening that her mother, Debbie Phillips, died of cervical cancer.

The name of the song in the video is "Autumn", by Scottish singer Paulo Nutini.  On the night her mother died, Sarah Phillips sang the song pitch perfect without any music – and without a single mistake or hesitation.  The video and music in the background were added to her performance later and put up on YouTube.  Now it has become a YouTube sensation.

Wouldn't it be great if every daughter would remember her mother this way....



The truth is that life is precious and it goes by so quickly.  The things that we all think are so important end up being not so important in the end.

Now is the time to simplify our lives, get out of debt, get free of financial obligations and start spending more of our time with the ones that we love.

Life is like a coin - we can spend it any way that we want, but we can only spend it once.

Be sure to spend it with the ones that you love.

A Guide For Step Families: How Do You Give What You Didn't Get As A Child?

HOW DO YOU GIVE WHAT YOU DIDN’T GET AS A CHILD?

By: Susan Wisdom

A Stretch for Stepcouples

As a counselor, I hear a lot of stories, many of which amaze me:

Mom was married 4 times. One of my stepfathers sexually abused me.

I saw my stepfather hit my mother.

My dad left us for another woman when I was 7.

Mom was mentally ill and hospitalized for long periods at a time.

I just remember my father being drunk all the time.

If you have similar stories in your memory banks, you will relate to this blog. You grew up with a poor road map for how to love, trust and support another person in a relationship. You didn’t experience it in your parents’ relationship nor did you get your early childhood needs met consistently. Your early losses probably forced you to grow up insecure and angry.

In taking clinical histories, I notice that many of you left home early. Some girls got pregnant and married their high school boyfriends. Guys left as soon as they could at 18 and never went back. You felt strong and determined to not need parents… or anyone. You were survivors!

Fast forward Things changed. Many of you were in successful careers and fiercely independent. Then love came along and you hooked up hoping you could do it differently from your parents. Many of you married people who had children in tow from previous relationships. You became a stepcouple with the obligation to care for and help raise someone else’s child.

This is where your early childhood experiences cast an ugly pall. How could you know about loving, trusting, and supporting a person in an intimate relationship? How could you know about putting other people’s needs first, especially children’s needs. You’ve been alone and self reliant…and self centered for years. You’ve been in complete control of your life. Now you’re in a RELATIONSHIP. Your buttons are going to be pushed and it will be a huge learning curve to give and get what you want and need.

But I always tell people, IT’S DOABLE, IF YOU’RE WILLING TO DO THE WORK.

* Take it slowly. Be patient with yourself. Recognize how this can be difficult     for you.

* Don’t set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic expectations early on.   You don’t know what to expect so be open and flexible. Be willing to be     influenced by your partner in a healthy way.

* Concentrate on building a relationship with your partner based on     something different from what you experienced as a child. Share each    other’s stories.

* Learn how to talk, listen and hear each other. Talk about what you want and   listen to what he/she wants. Be willing to ask for help and understanding.

* Remember, this is new territory, and you want it to last - be patient. Allow your partner to know you and vice versa. Allow familiarity and trust to build.


What about your past gets in your way of your stepcouple and stepfamily relationships?


Author Resource:  Susan Wisdom, LPC


http://www.stepcoupling.com/


Article From Free Articles - Free Article Submission

The Dragon Age: Origins Gay Sex Scene - Do You Know What Is In The Video Games Your Kids Are Playing

Do you know what is in the video games that your kids are playing?

If not, maybe now is the time to find out.

One of the hottest new video games of the year, "Dragon Age: Origins", actually contains a gay sex scene.

Seriously.

Apparently the intention of the game creators was to portray gay sex in a positive light.

The video posted below contains this shocking scene. Please do not let anyone under 18 watch this, and please do not let anyone in your family play this video game.....

This Is What Your Teenagers Are Doing When You Lend Them Your Car

Have you ever wondered what your teenagers are out doing when you loan them your car? If so, you might not want to watch this next video. If you have particularly wild teenagers they might just be out on the highway doing this with your car.....

To All The Kids Who Survived The 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s And 70s

The following anonymous document was forwarded to us in an email recently, and we thought that it made so many great points that we would share it with all of you. Sometimes it takes something like this to realize just how much has changed and just how far we have fallen.

After you have read the following piece, please leave a comment and let us know what you think about it.....

Parenting Tip #1479: Don't Let Your Daughter Go To Prom Dressed In A Confederate Flag Dress

It is prom season again, and based on what some girls are wearing to the prom, it is clear that a lot of parents are simply not paying attention.

We have seen a number of REALLY disturbing dresses this year, but the one to the left is perhaps the most bizarre.

One teen is suing a Kentucky school district for banning her from the prom for wearing a red dress styled as a large Confederate flag.

School officials would not let Jacqueline Duty into Russell High School’s May 1st prom for wearing the dress.

You can read the rest of the story here.....

http://www.virtualp.us/blog/?p=434

So please, parents, pay attention to what your kids are wearing.

Is Someone In Your Family Suffering From Addiction?

Do you have someone in your family who is currently caught in the grip of addiction? If so, then our new website may be of use to you. Our new site is called Addiction Recovery, and we hope that the guides and resources that we provide there will help those families that are coping with the horror of addictive behavior.

These are some of the articles that we already have up that you may find of interest:

*Alcohol Addiction

*Drug Addiction

*Gambling Addiction

We will be adding articles on additional addiction subjects as well. If someone in your family is suffering from addiction right now, hopefully this new site will be useful for you.

The Economic Collapse Is Putting Extreme Stress On American Families

The current economic collapse is really starting to cause extreme stress among America's families as job losses, home losses and bankruptcies continue to soar. Not being able to feed your kids and knowing that you are on the verge of losing your house is enough to cause panic and desperation in even the most solid marriage.

What do you do when you can feed your family? Well, more families than ever are turning to food stamps. A record 31.8 million Americans are now on food stamps as the number of poor Americans families is shooting through the roof.

American families are also losing their homes at alarming rates. More than 11 percent of mortgages are delinquent or are in foreclosure.

In fact, the housing market has collapsed so completely that in some areas you can buy a house for a buck.

Seriously.

A two-bedroom, 800-square-foot home in Detroit recently sold for one single dollar. Because of the foreclosure crisis, there are more than 40,000 vacant properties in Detroit. The median price of a home in Detroit is now only $7,000.

The economic collapse is also hitting older families really hard. The collapse of the stock market is literally ruining the retirement dreams of millions of baby boomers as many of their once promising nest eggs have totally crumbled.

So are the banks safe? Well, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation says that it may need to borrow as much as $500 billion from the Treasury Department. The truth is that is simply does not have enough cash to cover all the banks that are failing.

How in the world could this happen to America?

The United States of America was once the wealthiest, most prosperous nation on the entire earth. Americans lived in peace, almost everyone had a job, businesses were booming, the citizens were the healthiest in the world and almost everything America did turned to gold.

Those days are gone.

Instead of taking care of our national wealth, Americans spent it.

That wasn't enough for the new greedy generation of Americans, so they spent their children's money, and then they spent their grandchildren's money and then they spent their great grandchildren's money.

Now the United States is in the middle of a financial horror that is literally unprecedented in the history of the world.

As we posted on another blog the other day, the total liabilities of the United States government, including future social security and medicare payments that the U.S. government is already committed to pay out, now exceed 65 TRILLION dollars, which is more than the entire GDP of the whole world.

If you don't believe us, just read the 2008 Financial Report of the United States Government.

It's an official U.S. government report.

And you know what?

That 65 trillion dollars does not even reflect any significant money from the monstrous financial bailouts that Congress has passed.

So things are going to get MUCH worse financially.

How in the world could the richest nation on the earth let this happen?

This is what happens when extreme greed and extreme gluttony overcome a nation.

For decades, we, along with many other financial experts and patriots have been screaming and yelling about all the debt that America was getting into.

But nobody listened.

Because of the mountain of debt that the U.S. government, financial institutions and ordinary Americans have piled up, the financial system is beginning to fail.

Already, 13 banks have failed in 2009. All of the bailouts that Congress have been passing certainly don't seem to be helping much yet.

The truth is that all of this government spending that Congress is doing will help the economy in the short term, but it will make the long term problems of the U.S. government far worse because all of this spending is just increasing the debt.

So who is going to buy all of this new government debt? China has serious doubts about who is going to buy all of America's new debt. The reality is that the only way that the government can "bailout" anyone or pay for any "stimulus" bill is to borrow.

So America borrows and borrows and borrows and borrows.

If your own personal finances were like that, how do you think it would end?

And most analysts are now predicting that times are going to get even harder.

Already there are so many ordinary Americans that are in severe pain.

The U.S. economy lost 598,000 jobs in January. Just think about that. Over half a million jobs GONE in one short month.

These job losses are hurting real people. Do you know people who have lost jobs? We do. We know parents that are trying desperately to support their children who have now lost their jobs.

When people lose their jobs they don't have money to spend at the stores and they can't pay their mortgages either.

Foreclosures in the United States increased by 81 percent last year, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight.

As more people lose their jobs, more people will lose their homes.

The truth is that there are more homes sitting empty in the United States today than there ever had been before.

Just think about that.

In fact, there are some areas of the United States that are in danger of becoming permanent disaster zones.

Did you know that some areas of New Orleans STILL have not been rebuilt after all this time?

In the "greatest country on earth" a situation like New Orleans can persist for YEARS and still the government does not fix the problem.

It is a national disgrace.

But New Orleans is not alone. There are a growing number of areas around the U.S. that have been hit by natural disasters or hard times and have just been left to rot away.

Just ask someone who has been to certain areas of Detroit. There are some places there that look like a war zone. People there are hurting bad.

Does anyone care?

All of this financial turmoil has also cause a sharp increase in the number of homeless.

It's not just people sleeping on street corners either.

Due to the huge number of foreclosures, tent "cities" have been popping up on the outskirts of major cities all over the nation.

The truth is that there are more people in the United States without a decent place to live than ever before.

And Americans are getting desperate.

Can you imagine getting down on your knees and begging for a job at the dump?

That actually happened recently in the Tampa Bay area.

136 people, most out of work, answered a recent employment ad for a position at a landfill.

"At one point I actually had a line of people 10 feet out the door waiting to talk to me," Scott Hanus, an operations manager for Veolia Environmental Services told the St. Petersburg Times.

In fact, he had 4 people actually get down on their knees and beg him for a job.

At the dump.

Wow.

Did you hear about the approximately 1,000 people who applied for 50 low paying jobs at a new In-N-Out restaurant opening in Nevada?

This is how the Las Vegas Sun described the scene:

Some wore ties. Some wore their pants too low. Some were balding. Some owed two months of mortgage payments. Some spoke openly of suicide. Some asked this reporter for a job. Some asked the manager at the hotel hosting the event for a job.

For some Americans, desperation is giving way to hopelessness.

One out of work Arizona woman described her increasing desperation this way: "When three months go by with only two job interviews, it's hard not to feel a certain amount of self-doubt and hopelessness."

All of this increasing desperation is putting a lot of stress on life in the home.

The Baltimore Sun is reporting on one woman in the Baltimore area is having a hard time hiding her desperation as her husband's business has almost completely failed. Her family's cars have been repossessed and their house is in danger of foreclosure. "We're behind on everything," she says.

She also tells of being afraid of her abusive husband: "He gets very frustrated, very, very angry."

The reality is that according the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics, more than half a million Americans, almost all of them women, are abused by their spouses every year. All of this economic stress is making things even worse experts say.

Some Americans have decided that the economy is never going to fully recover and so there is a renewed interest in survival techniques. But is running off to the mountains really a long term solution?

The truth is that Americans have lived beyond their means for decades, and now America is full of families who think that life is over if all of their treasures are taken away.

But perhaps all of us would be better off if we took the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:19-21 to heart.....

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

If your family is in severe financial pain, the number one thing you need to do is to turn to God. In the dark economic times ahead it is going to take a lot more than just hard work and determination to make it through. You are your family will need God's protection and God's help.

Satanic Music?

If you are a Christian parent with teens, then you probably have a conflict with them at some point over music.

But is music something to be concerned about?

Is rock music actually dangerous?

Is there such a thing as Satanic music?

Should Christians be listening to any type of music no matter what the message is?

Have you ever considered if modern music is having an incredibly destructive impact on the young people of the United States?

The truth is that much of what is called "rock music" does have a strong Satanic influence. Consider the following information.....

David Bowie said in Rolling Stone magazine (Feb. 12, 1976):

"Rock has always been THE DEVIL'S MUSIC . . . I believe rock and roll is dangerous . . . I feel we're only heralding SOMETHING EVEN DARKER THAN OURSELVES."

Do you ever wonder why all forms of violent crime, sexual sin, and drug use have skyrocketed in the United States since the 50s?

In the disturbing song "The Conjuring" by Megadeth, the true mission of rock music is clearly revealed:

"I AM THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE
A SALESMAN, if you will . . .
Come join me in my INFERNAL DEPTHS . . .
I've got your soul!"

Do you ever wonder if rock music has anything to do with the explosive popularity of witchcraft, the occult and Satanism in America?

Rocker Frank Zappa once proudly boasted:

"I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshippers who are called 'groupies.' Girls will give their bodies to musicians as you would give a sacrifice to a god." (Peters Brothers, What About Christian Rock, p. 17)

Do you ever think twice about the music you are listening to? Do you ever pay attention to the messages that are being pumped into your brain?

In the incredibly disgusting song, "The Prince", the rock group Metallica proclaims:

"Angel from below . . .
I WISH TO SELL MY SOUL . . .
DEVIL TAKE MY SOUL
with diamonds you repay
I don't care for heaven
so don't you look for me to cry
AND I WILL BURN IN HELL
from the day I die."

Rocker Marilyn Manson is very clear about what his mission is:

"Hopefully, I’ll be remembered as the person who brought an end to Christianity." (Spin, August 1996, p. 34)

The group Bow Wow Wow, in their sick song "Prince of Darkness", openly give an "invitation" to receive Satan:

"So open the door and LET SATAN IN, The Prince of Darkness."

Don't you think it is time for you to be aware of what you are listening to?

The rock group Black Sabbath have actually given invitations during their concerts for people to receive Satan into their lives. One of their albums is even titled "We Sold Our Soul for Rock'n Roll". Their song N.I.B. (Nativity In Black) is in reality a love song from Lucifer, in which Lucifer invites people to "please take my hand":

"Some people say MY LOVE cannot be true
Please believe me, MY LOVE, and I'll show you
I will give you those things you thought unreal . . .
YOUR LOVE FOR ME has just got to be real . . .
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
MY NAME IS LUCIFER, PLEASE TAKE MY HAND!"

Posted below is a series of four videos that will challenge everything that you believe about rock music.

It is absolutely the hardest hitting documentary series on the true nature of Rock Music, Pop Music, and Country Music we have ever seen! Pastor Schimmel was a minor rock star who had visions of future riches and glory in his head before Jesus Christ got hold of his heart. These videos takes you backstage, showing the true nature and of rock stars from the 1950's through today. In these videos you will see shocking video of Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath, AC/DC and Madonna. Even Britney Spears, 'N SYNC, Ricky Martin, Garth Brooks, and Eminem are included, just to mention a few. If you are fighting with your children or your grandchildren about Rock Music, these videos will give you the ammunition that you need to convince your loved ones of the Satanic nature of Rock Music. You will also see how seductive rock music is, and how much of modern music is preparing the masses of youngsters to be the future army of the antichrist.

After watching the videos below, hopefully you all will be much more aware of the source, agenda and message of much of today's music and you will be much more hesitant to pump endless hours of it directly into your brain.

*Warning* -- The videos linked to below are extremely graphic and show very clearly the link between rock music and the occult. They are most definitely not meant to be watched by young children.

Our challenge to you is to watch at least one part of this four part series and then to come back here to this blog and defend the artists and the music talked about in the presentation.

The videos:

Part I: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2494291415376995856&q=Sold+Soul+For+Rock+and+Roll&ei=Tco6SKrED4im-QGe8vXwAw&hl=en

Part II: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2501641644828032698&q=Sold%20Soul%20For%20Rock%20and%20Roll&hl=en

Part III: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4315257824039757348&q=Sold+their+Souls+For+Rock+Roll+3&ei=v8s6SN2DNJHk-AHEiZTxAw&hl=en

Part IV: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5288201614619778233&q=Sold%20their%20Souls%20For%20Rock%20Roll%203&hl=en

The good news in all of this is that you CAN be set free from these demonic influences. The good news is that the Lord Jesus Christ is more powerful than all of the powers of darkness, and if you will repent and invite Jesus Christ into your life you will receive eternal life and will have all of your sins forgiven.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian we would encourage you to check this out:

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1049/1049_01.asp

So what do you think about all of this? Feel free to post your thoughts about the video series in the comments section below.

Chinese Scientists Use New Technology To Clone 5 Human Embryos

There was a time when human cloning was only a reality in really bad science fiction movies, but that time is officially over. Thanks to a new breakthrough, scientists in China have successfully cloned five human embryos.

So how is this done?

This new technology involved taking human cells, usually from the skin of a donor, and injecting them into a human egg.

This goal of this procedure according to the Chinese scientists is to create embryonic stem cells. Stem cells are cells that have the ability to grow into any type of tissue in the body. Many doctors and researchers around the world believe that embryonic stem cells can aid them in finding cures for many common diseases.

However, this technique is also controversial because the removal of stem cells always leads to the destruction of the cloned embryo.

For scientists in communist China, the destruction of the embryo is not a problem because they do not believe that life begins until after birth.

So they don't feel any guilt at all over destroying those children.

Embryonic stem cell research is also getting a lot of attention in the United States.

Just hours after Barack Obama was inaugurated, the FDA approved a scientific stem cell study that will use human embryonic stem cells.

Embryonic stem cell research has been a huge issue in recent presidential campaigns, but now with this FDA approval and with President Obama in office, this research is likely to begin as early as this upcoming summer.

This initial research will test whether embryonic stem cells are safe to use in spinal injury patients.

These embryonic stem cells come from four or five day old embryos, which have the ability to turn into any cell in the body.

However, there is one huge problem.

When these stem cells are removed from the embryo, the embryo is destroyed.

That is why this research has been so controversial.

Because it kills babies.

This is just another sign that the United States cares very little about life or about obeying God.

We create human embryos and we do whatever sick things we want to with them.

There was an article in USAToday the other day that left us totally stunned.

The article described how there are approximately half a million frozen embryos sitting around in storage in fertility clinics across the United States.

Half a million frozen babies.

Just sitting there.

According to USAToday, only about two-thirds of the "owners" of these embryos said they were ever likely to use them.

So what is going to happen to all of the leftover embryos?

According to the article, more than half of the "parents" of these embryos responding to a survey said that they were "very unlikely" to donate their "extra embryos" to another couple trying to have a baby.

What the survey did find was that the most popular option was donating the embryos for "scientific" research.

How sick is that?

Just think about that.

There are already a half million frozen babies sitting around in clinics and that number is increasing all the time.

A huge portion of these embryos will never be used by the "parents", and the most popular option for "disposing" of these embryos appears to be donating them for "research".

The truth is that the United States has rejected the value of human life in a multitude of ways.

America has thrown God's ways to the side and has embraced their own "wisdom" in the name of convenience.

It is time for America to wake up and to realize the tremendous sins against human life that are being committed all across the nation:

http://www.chick.com/media/1009_01.asp

Are You Planning To Give An Inspirational Speech To Your Family And Need Some Material?

Do you need to give your family an inspirational speech?

Something that will really get them going?

The YouTube video below has patched together inspirational speeches from 40 major motion pictures to create the most gigantic, mega-inspirational speech of all time.

So if your family is feeling a bit down, then perhaps you can inspire them with some of the lines from this video. Or maybe not.

In any event, it is very funny.

How many of these movies can you recognize?:

Men Have Abandoned The Church & Their Roles As Spiritual Leaders Of The Home

I believe that very few readers of this blog will doubt that there is a serious spiritual decline taking place in the United States.

But do you all know who is leading the decline?

Men.

Men have abandoned the church and they have abandoned their roles as spiritual leaders of the home.

Do you doubt this assertion?

Let's look at the facts.....

Did you realize that the typical American church draws a crowd that is 61% female and 39% male?

Did you realize that on any given Sunday there are 13 million more women than men in the churches of America?

Did you realize that every Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will go to church without their husbands in America?

Did you realize that approximately 90 percent of the boys who are being raised in church in America will abandon it by their 20th birthday?

So why is there such a significant spiritual gender gap in America?

Is there anything that we can do about it?

If you think that you have some solutions, please feel free to leave a comment.

Are We Still Supposed To Follow The The Ten Commandments?

Are we still supposed to follow the Ten Commandments today?

Is it morally wrong for us to break them?

Please feel free to post your thoughts and ideas about these questions in the comments section below.

If you believe that the Ten Commandments still apply to us today, then please explain why.

If you think it is okay for us to break the Ten Commandments today, then please explain your reasoning.

The following is a bit of scripture to help us get the discussion started:

Matthew 5:17-19

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."

And here is a thought:

Maybe if we all took the 10 Commandments more seriously, then maybe less married people would be committing adultery.

Another Reason To Tell Our Teens To Wait For Marriage - Over 50 Percent Of 15 To 19 Year Olds Admit Having Oral Sex

This is another example of the decline of traditional values in our nation.

In a new federal survey, over half of both male and female 15 to 19 year old teenagers admit to having engaged in oral sex.

Think about that.

More teenagers have practiced oral sex than have not.

These are kids who have not even reached their 20th birthday yet.

It sure makes one think twice about putting kids in public schools that is for certain.

Can the wickedness of this nation get much worse?

What are we teaching our kids that they would act this way?

This story brought the following verse to mind:

"Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold"

--Matthew 24:12