Monday, January 11, 2010 Posted by Shattered Paradigm
Author: Linda Cooper
In a perfect world marriage therapy to repair your family's relationships would be redundant. Everyone would get along and everyone who became engaged and married would stay together forever out of love and happiness. However, as anyone will tell you, this is far from being a perfect world and divorce is happening at a larger rate with each passing decade.
This does not mean that society is breaking down and the family unit is no longer functioning, far from it. What is happening is that our busy lives are starting to take over our marriages.
The days of working nine to five and being home with the family are long gone. Now, couples both work nine to five, and then go home and work some more. In some cases they are transporting the kids to and from extracurricular activities.
All this creates a distance between husband and wife because they rarely see each other. In fact, they see their co-workers more than they see each other and that is where the marriage fragmentation begins.
When this happens, it may be time to take a look at marriage therapy or even engage a marriage therapist who can come in and look at the state of your family and your marriage and offer solutions to make things work. This professional is a marriage therapist or marriage and family therapist. Their job is to resolve the problems in your home and help everyone get together and function properly as a family unit.
Many husbands and wives will try and avoid the marriage therapy route because they feel that marriage therapy is something done by people with severe problems. They do not see their own problems as severe and the desire to 'fix things ourselves' is often very strong. However, this is the wrong way to look at it.
When your car is not working right, it means that one part is not working as well as it should. That one part problem then creates a multitude of other problems down the line. Do you fix it yourself? Unless you are a mechanic, you most likely do not. You hire someone to come and fix your vehicle for you because you want it done right.
A marriage and family therapist is a mechanic for the problems with your marriage. Somewhere in the framework of the marriage there is a problem. Hence, there is a need to fix that problem with repair work. You do not want an amateur doing this.
You want a professional working at helping making your family whole again. You want a licensed marriage family therapist who can fix your marriage.
Psychologists, psychotherapist, marriage counselors and marriage therapists all do the same thing, just under different names. They offer you relationship advice in one form or another to help your family therapy work. They not only work with you, but with your spouse, your children, your friends and extended family. They work with everyone so that everyone can work together to make sure that your marriage works. Do you think your parents want to see the marriage fail?
Does your best friend want you to split up with your spouse? Unlikely. Therefore it is important for the licensed marriage family therapist to work with everyone in one form or another to fix your marriage.
However, it is not enough to simply hire a marriage counselor to come and repair your marriage. The two most important people in the marriage; you and your spouse, need to be completely on board with the marriage therapy.
If you are not, or your spouse is not, then the marriage counseling will suffer significantly. Instead of being able to work through your problems, your marriage counselor will struggle with being able to work through your own roadblocks. This is the easiest way to keep marriage resolution success from happening.
Family counselors and marriage counselors work for the sole purpose of making families work. They want families to work because they have chosen to do something good with their lives by helping people. They want to see you ten years from now, still with your spouse, and completely in love and over any problems that may have existed previously.
It is important to understand that it is highly unlikely that you will come across a problem in your marriage that marriage therapy cannot repair. Everything can be fixed and it all comes down to how willing you and your spouse are to make things work together.
As was stated earlier, marriage does not always follow a rosy path. As a result, it will be necessary on occasion to seek marriage therapy, counseling or marriage family therapy from professionals such as a psychotherapist, a psychologist or a relationship advice specialist who will be able to help you and your spouse work through he problems that exist.
There are no problems they cannot handle, except those problems you refuse to work through.
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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Marriage Therapy to Heal Your Family