Help You Make It To Your Flight - A Parody Of The New Airport Security Procedures

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 Posted by Shattered Paradigm

Have you been through the new airport security procedures yet?  If so, what do you think about them?  Did anyone in your family have to be subjected to the new "enhanced pat-downs"?  The truth is that there are really good reasons why so many Americans are getting so angry about these new security procedures.  If you want to get on an airplane in the United States today, you either have to allow gawking security officials look at your completely exposed body using the new full body security scanners, or you have to let allow a security official to grope and feel up every inch of your body.  Yes, including "those" parts.  You may not object to this kind of search, but how would you feel about your wife or teenage daughter or young son being touched on the private areas by complete strangers? 

Fortunately, many people are now speaking out about this outrage.  Some Americans are even using comedy and humor to fight back.  For example, the video posted below is a great parody but it also makes some very serious points.  The video was produced by Buck Howdy and it is entitled "Help You Make It To Your Flight".  It is a takeoff on Kris Kristofferson's classic hit "Help Me Make It Through The Night".  Howdy's "revised lyrics" are so hilarious that more than two million people have watched it so far on YouTube.

If you have not seen this yet, you have got to check it out....

The full lyrics of "Help You Make it to Your Flight" are posted below....

Take the ribbon from your hair
Shake it loose and let it fall
Leave your shoes right over there
Now get up against the wall

I'll run my hands inside your thighs
Up your legs and out of sight!
But you can trust the TSA
To help you make it to your flight

We don't profile that'd be wrong
Just ask the ACLU
We'd rather check your nooks and crannies
Every inch of you

Got no life except my job
But I don't mind it's all right
I get to grope you legally
If you want to take a flight

This badge and uniform we wear
Might look like a rent a cop
But your life is in our hands
We like it that way, especially if you're hot

Awful lonely being me
No girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife
So let me squeeze you, oooh, right there
If you want to take a flight

You can trust the TSA
You'll be in our dreams tonight

It is good to see the American people standing up like this.  We should not have to be sexually groped before we get on an airplane.

If you want to send a message that you do not like to be groped by TSA agents or anyone else, then we would encourage you to check out the new line of "Don't Touch My Junk" clothing available on

In addition, to keep up with the latest on this scandal along with all of the other news of the day we encourage you to check out some of our other websites....


*End Of The World

*Mysteries Of The World

*The Debt


Post a Comment