Thursday, August 18, 2011 Posted by Shattered Paradigm
Since Michele Bachmann stated that she submitted to her husband’s desire to go back to school for accounting, a firestorm of debate has started, as to what this idea of submission means.
On one side, you have your Christian conservative women who mostly understand what it means, biblically, for wives to submit to their husbands as the head of the household. On the other side, (the far left side) liberal women have all but asked for Michele’s burning at the stake, arguing that, by listening to her husband, she has somehow put the women’s liberal movement back to the stone ages.
I suspect that much of this controversy revolves around the fact that many women have a distorted understanding of what it means to submit to their husbands. Over the decades, society has done a great job of twisting the meaning of the word so that the concept of submitting to your husband has almost become synonymous with worshiping or being enslaved to one's husband.
The feminist movement has obliterated the concept of the man leading the family, to the point that most marriage vows do not contain this type of language anymore. You can hear feminist women, everywhere, boldly standing up and saying,” no one’s going to tell me what to do--not even my husband!” How wrong the feminists are and how the family unit has suffered for their prideful lies.
The idea of there only being one leader in the household, is not just biblical, it logical. You simply can't run a successful organization, of any type, with two people in charge. You'll never see a corporation with two CEOs, a major league baseball team with two head coaches, a nation with two presidents or a universe with two Gods. It just doesn't work.
In the case of marriage, if one person has not been designated as the leader, indecision over a situation can quickly lead to temporary paralysis, or even worse, a tearing apart of the marriage. When a husband and wife have different ideas as to which direction to go in, there are only three options; they go his way, her way or they go their separate ways. They can't go both ways. Ultimately, someone has to submit to the other's direction. In the case of marriage, God calls for the woman to be that person.
Women that believe in the ultimate authority of the God of the Bible understand what it means, that the husband is the head of their partnership. Submission is not demanded by the husband; it is willingly given. If it is demanded by the husband, it is no longer biblical submission, it is abuse.
Perhaps unintentionally, but the feminist movement has created many more questions for women than they have given answers. What used to be simple questions for women about dating or marriage are now conundrums. For example, “Do I let him pay for the meal or should I? Should I wait for him to open my car door or will it make me look weak? Can I call him or will that make me appear too aggressive? Do I work or do I stay home with the kids? Do I need to do what my husband asks?” These questions may have been asked in the past, but the answers may not have been as muddled as they are today.
The answers used to be clear,” Yes, he should pay and open the doors; it is a sign of respect. No, you wait for him to call you; it is a sign that you were raised to be courted and respectful of yourself. If you choose to have kids and the means to stay at home, you should, even if it means you have to make sacrifices to do so. There is no other job more important than raising the future generation; and no one can do it better than the child's mother.”
Part of being a God-honoring man means taking his call as a husband seriously. He understands God's law to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, (Christ loved the Church so much he ultimately died for it). If he does not take his role as the head of the household seriously the Bible says the husband will not have his prayers answered. The husband understands that, ultimately he will have to stand in front of God, explaining why the marriage ended and/or why he treated his wife so poorly.
When God was creating the world, the only time he said “this is not good” was when man was alone. The man needed a suitable helper and woman was man’s gift from God. Wives are to help their husbands in every way and be his equal (suitable). We do our husbands an equal disservice when we play a passive role in the marriage, just as much as when we try to overpower them.
The husband is to be the head of the household spiritually and physically. The husband must step up and not leave it to the wife to take over. Part of the sin punishment for Adam, and ultimately every man, was his twisted desire to rule over the wife and failing by either abusing that power or by refusing to take it seriously. For Eve, and every woman thereafter, part of the sin punishment was the twisted desire to rule over our husbands, often by believing he is too incompetent to lead a family.
When a decision needs to be made, the husband is to be the ultimate authority, only after listening and praying with his helper wife. Jesus submitted to God’s will after he went to God with his prayers. God and Jesus worked in perfect union, each knowing that the other had nothing but the other's best interest in mind. That is the union that a husband and wife should emulate.
We, as wives, are called to submit to our husband’s leadership, just like Christ submitted to God. Ultimately, our husbands are called to love us like Christ loved the Church. The key ingredient for this to work perfectly is the husband’s role to truly love his wife, which is so infinitely harder than the wives role to submit. However, in the end, submission becomes the manifestation of the wife’s love for her husband. The truth is, how hard is it to submit to love? This is what the feminist movement failed to realize. By submitting to love, there is no greater display of our femininity. The feminist movement has turned this beautiful marriage relationship on it head and, in turn, has left women’s heads spinning.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)