Thursday, August 09, 2012 Posted by Shattered Paradigm
There comes a certain point after college where everyone shifts from the single or dating scene to the engaged or married scene. Marriage within groups of friends seems to come in waves, and suddenly everyone is showing off engagement rings and planning weddings, and getting married is all that anyone is able to talk about. The total immersion into the world of weddings is enough to make some people second guess their decision to abstain from getting married for the time being and consider popping the question or accepting a proposal. However just because everyone else is getting married doesn’t mean you should be too; here are five of the wrong reasons people get married:
1. Everyone else is getting married. All of your friends are suddenly engaged or married, and with all these showers and weddings you’re attending it’s enough to make you think that it might be time for you to settle down too. However, unless you’ve met “The One” and know without a shadow of a doubt that you’re making the right decision, you should probably hold out on that marriage proposal or acceptance. Don’t get married just because your friends are.
2. You want kids. Baby fever. Think it’s not real? Think again. Maybe your biological clock is ticking or maybe you’re suffering from the symptoms simply because your friends are all having kids and suddenly you want to as well, but unless you’re settled in with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, wanting kids is not a good reason to get married. Settling down with someone for the sole reason of having kids is flirting with destruction.
3. Money. Money can hold a lot of power in a relationship, and at times it can seem like a very motivating reason for tying the knot with someone; however happiness born from money is a finite type of happiness. Sooner or later you’ll reach a point where all the money in the world won’t be enough to sway you from the unhappiness born of a marriage built on nothing more than dollar bills.
4. To keep a family unified. Getting pregnant out of wedlock compels many people to suddenly view marriage as the only option. Keeping the family unified seems like the best route to take, even if you don’t truly get along with your significant other or have never wanted a serious relationship with them. If you’re toying with the idea of getting married to ensure the best interests of your kids, think again. Your kids’ best interests lie with parents who are happy, and happy doesn’t necessarily mean together.
5. You think it will fix the relationship. It’s not uncommon for people to operate under the wrong assumption that getting married will be the catalyst that fixes an otherwise failing relationship, or that it will suddenly change things about your significant other that you think need changing. However this thinking couldn’t be more flawed, as marriage often only compounds problems that were already thriving in a bad relationship.
Getting married for the right reasons can result in a beautiful, fulfilling union between two people. However getting married just because you want to have kids or because you think it will change a toxic relationship won’t do either party any favors. Make sure your reasons for saying, “I do” are the right ones before you opt to tie the knot.
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